Sadness

19 Jun

That period after Jac’s diagnosis was tough. I did the initial survival techniques and was coping brilliantly! But after that rise came a massive fall. I felt tired. And unmotivated. And ostracised from everyone. No one can possibly know what you are going through unless something major has also happened to them (which is not something I would wish for anyone). The cloud that descended on me was huge. I wanted to be able to deal with everything as I normally would, but I was incapable. It was even too much to hoover. Some might say it was depression, and I wouldn’t disagree, but I also wouldn’t say it was. I was just down and unable to cope with anything other than the health of my family.

I don’t want to bring up this part of my journey apart from to say that my true friends came forward! And for that I’m very grateful. I did admittedly become a diabetes bore, but only because that was all I could cope with at that time in my life. Sorry friends! But other parents in the same position? It was bad for a while. It’s only now nearly to the day that I feel back to normal.

Which brings me to my other point. Prior to Jac’s diagnosis I was reasonably fit. I went to the gym 5 times a week and worked part time. We also have another son aged 7 (more on his story on another blog!) and we had also had a new litter of springer spaniel puppies to add to our house. We now have 2 Springer spaniel dogs, 2 boys, my husband works full time and I work part time. Unfortunately, with a small family, my gym has hit the dust. I no longer have a gym bunny body, and have a little more wobbly bits than I would like! I’ve recently started training on my new bike in the hopes that I would tone up again, I’ve done 40 miles in the last 3 days so fingers crossed my flabby bits will bu**er off soon!

On my next post I hope to touch on the support from Diabetes Uk  family events and what happened after my dark time….

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One Response to “Sadness”

  1. Bronwen Laycock June 19, 2012 at 9:54 pm #

    What some people may not realise is that you do not go to bed and sleep for the night, but cat nap to keep checking on Jac, it is the relentless 24 hour care which is tiring for you all. Outsiders seeing Jac would never know, and that is down to your care and keeping life as normal as possible. You are both doing a fantastic job to raise a lovely family. Love mum

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